I'm very excited to play the 1st Strauss Horn Concerto with the Anacortes High School Band! Those kids are very talented and they are excited, too. It's an honor to be featured with them, and I'm hoping that I can get to know them a little more as we work together. I'm also excited to play the Midsummer Night's Dream Nocturne with the Saratoga Orchestra. It's got the two big horn solos in it, which I've practiced a lot in the past because it's a big audition excerpt, but have never performed it. Come check out that concert on either Nov. 9th in Langley or Nov. 10th in Coupeville. And, I'm likely going to be playing some of the Beethoven Sextet for 2 horns & strings in March, which I've been wanting to play for a very long time, ever since I discovered it when in college. I even worked on it for a while with a friend, but we never ended up performing it.
But another exciting-ish thing to look forward to are auditions. Ugh...well, so here's the thing with auditions: I don't think anyone really likes to play auditions, but it's very exciting to think about winning the audition...and, of course, winning an audition is extremely exciting. Outside of winning ensemble chair placement auditions in school, I've won several auditions, including the Principal Horn of the Mid-Columbia Symphony in the Tri-Cities, and Principal Horn of the Festival City Symphony in Milwaukee, WI. And, of course, All-State & All-Northwest Honor Bands in high school. And the Saratoga Orchestra.
But I've done many more auditions and have lost. And that's how it goes for most of us. There's many more great players than there are chairs in orchestras. It can be disheartening at times, particularly when I used to have my heart set on playing full-time.
But, with my life being how it is as a dad of young children, a homeowner and a full-time lesson teacher, preparing for auditions becomes more difficult. It's not something that I have my heart set on winning right now. I just don't get the practice time I once had. Sure, I have a good amount of "free time", but that time is heavily spent on making preparations for my students: research, arranging, recording. I am so set on being the best lesson teacher and ensemble director I can. So I get practice in, but not as much as my competition for these auditions do.
But, I don't fret about it anymore. Believe me, I did before. But now, I'm more relaxed about it. I still want to take local auditions and get experience. But I'm not expecting to win. I'm expecting to play well, though, because of my past experience of practicing & studying hard and taking auditions. So who knows? Maybe I will win one someday. But I'm sure some of you are thinking, "You have three kids! Why bother doing music?"
So then there's this whole subject about being a full-time musician while being a dad. Before I had kids I heard many stories of people who were aspiring performers, composers, etc. who had kids and put music completely aside to raise them, and basically put their dreams aside. I knew that I just couldn't do that. When we had my first kids, it was hard to adjust, but I still pushed to get my graduate degree. When we had our second kid and moved back to Washington from Wisconsin, I was poised to teach lessons full time. And I even went further, taking gigs, starting a brass ensemble program and a music camp. And even a horn club. I just couldn't put away music. But I have found a happy balance, because I still get to spend a lot of time with my kids and family, but also get to spend it with my work family and earn a good living. Sure, I don't get to practice as much as I would like, but I still get to practice. And I get to do so much more. I made sure it was possible to be an active musician and a good family man.
So with these auditions coming up, I'm chill. I'm there to have a good time, and to get experience. I'm not going in there nervous or driven to win to the point of emotional instability like I have before. If I was single, it would be different...but I wouldn't be as happy...particularly if I still lost! haha.
...but don't get me wrong. I still really want win a big audition and play full-time. I really do. I just have come to terms with the fact that it may never happen for me. That's why I love being a lesson teacher, so that I can teach outstanding kids to go out and win those jobs.
So a good goal: Full-time music and family. Keys to a happy life. For me, anyways. Excuse me, now...I need to go chase a toddler, then practice my horn.
Take care and value music.